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When I was thirteen, I fell out of a hayloft. Stop laughing! I was hauling hay at the time. Briefly, we were putting hay bales into the loft of a large square barn; a quarter of the loft floor was raised about six inches above the rest. In the very dark loft, I thought I was stepping off the raised area of the loft onto the lower area of the loft. Instead, I stepped directly into the hole leading up from the first floor. Feet first, straight down I went, bumping each rung of the ladder as I fell – in slow motion, it seemed. Two inches of loose hay on the barn floor sent my feet flying from under me (probably preventing two broken ankles), and I landed on my tailbone. Hard.
The normal stresses and strains of everyday life are very hard on my poor damaged spine. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that my tailbone was cracked, and has continued very sensitive to this day, more than twenty years later; plane rides are a particular torture. In addition, my entire spine up to my neck was jammed and gives me constant trouble. I have stabbing lower back pains during menstruation. I experience frequent headaches from misalignments in my neck and TMJ (a jaw problem). Sleep is often elusive because of back discomfort. And now, at the tender age of thirty-five, my doctor has discovered degenerative arthritis in my back. One careless misstep – not even a step I intended to take! – has changed my back forever. I am careful not to abuse my back again, but despite my care, exercise, stretching, and frequent chiropractic visits, my back troubles me in ways that those with undamaged backs do not experience.
So, what does all this have to do with the topic at hand? Maybe nothing, except the knowledge that one careless misstep – something minor, something you didn’t even really mean to do, perhaps something you didn't even know you were doing – can adversely affect the rest of your life. If you crack your tailbone, you’ll be dealing with it forever; if it is a spiritual mistake instead, you may be giving the devil a foothold in your life from which he can torment you for many years. No, he will not possess you nor steal your salvation you if you are safe in Christ, but though the ultimate consequence of spiritual death will not result, the consequences in this world will not be magically erased just because of your standing as a Christian. Normal stresses and strains will tax you unduly, beyond how they might affect another believer not so damaged.
An obvious misstep is a casual sexual encounter, which can result in an illegitimate child, an abortion, a sexually transmitted disease. These are obvious and immediate results with obvious long-lasting consequences. But others may show up years later: guilt resulting in inability to freely enjoy a sexual relationship with a spouse, dissatisfaction with a spouse for not “measuring up,” infertility from a botched abortion. Many other missteps are not so obvious, but all of them give the devil another means of accusing you, burdening you with guilt or the natural consequences of an ill-advised action.
New problems can crop up at unexpected times. I deal pretty well with my tailbone, knowing which chairs will be painful and which will not, and scheduling appointments with my chiropractor soon after plane trips. But a new and unexpected consequence showed up when I was giving birth for the first time. My daughter’s head became stuck on my bent tailbone, and my midwife had to reach in and push it out of the way with both her thumbs. Here is a brief understatement: It hurt. A lot. Similarly, I know someone who was involved in secret drug use as a teenager, while still going to church and professing to be a Christian. In college, he gave up drugs and rededicated his life to Christ. He dealt with the problem of his sin and was forgiven. But an unexpected consequence cropped up years later when he tried to witness to his best friend from high school, his drug buddy. He had no witness to give him, since his buddy had heard him proclaiming Christ all along, while living a secret life of sin. He has a great sorrow in knowing that there is nothing he can say to erase the consequences of his misstep in his youth.
We have freedom in Christ, and we have forgiveness in Christ; but how sorrowful to have our joy in the Lord dimmed by the nagging backache from a careless misstep.
Copyright (c) 2002 Carma Paden. All rights reserved. No portion may be reproduced in any fashion without express permission.
